When we are in a relationship that we intend to take to another level, we begin to ask ourselves some questions like if this person I am dating has the qualities of a good man.
You ask yourself: is he a good man? Is he the man I should trust my life with? Is he the person I should choose to sail the whirlpool of uncertainties called life with?
Oh, these questions are perfectly sensible. Nearly every woman has asked herself these questions. We are all humans and before taking serious decisions like putting our hearts in the hands of another person, we should look for a sort of assurance that we are doing the right thing.
Nobody wants to come out of a relationship with a broken heart and days filled with hurt as the benefit. But the thing is, how do we know what to look for in a man to know that he is a good man…a man that would not turn the relationship into a ride of emotional torment.
First of all, I would like to tell you that a relationship is not like a mathematics question where unless one plus two equals three, it is not the answer.
Relationships are not cut out that way; what I might require from my man to make me happy might not be exactly what you want.
The same way our personalities and lifestyles differ, so will our standard of what a good man is. So our views of the qualities of a good man will vary.
But still, there is a general guideline that will help you to know the certain qualities you should look for in your man to know if he is a good man. So I will be telling you fifteen criteria that will help you know what to look for in a guy for marriage:
1. He Makes You Feel Beautiful
When you are with a good man, you would know with the way you glow with the compliment he showers upon you at every given chance.
It doesn’t matter if you are in baggy clothes with bags beneath your eyes from working for so long or if you are glammed up for a special occasion, he will make you feel beautiful and treasured.
One of the qualities of a good man is that he will never fail to tell you that you are one of the top best things that have happened to him.
2. He Wants To Earn Your Trust
One of the qualities of a good man is that he will understand that trust is a crucial part of a healthy relationship. He will do what is needed so that he will earn your trust.
He will try his best to maintain honesty in communications. He wants you to be able to lean on him, confide in him. It means the world to him and anything he does to achieve that wouldn’t seem a big deal to him. Learn 5 Easy Ways To Build Trust In A Relationship.
3. He Listens To You
What’s a healthy relationship without communication? Absolutely nothing. If your man is good, he will know that and will try to incorporate that into his relationship. So he will make effort to keep the communication always going.
And how does he do that? He will make efforts to listen to you when you want to make your observation about a certain issue. In fact, while you are talking, the nonverbal signs he will make will show that your opinions certainly matter and that he is listening to you.
4. Your Security Welfare Is Your Priority
Have you heard of the saying that a man in love with you will certainly protect you? It’s in a good man’s DNA to instinctively lookout for others they care about. It’s part of them.
You can’t be uncertain about it. That’s because it will certainly show in their actions. It’s one of the prominent qualities of a good man.
For instance, whenever the man in the neighboring family travels overnight for business, he’d call my husband at night and beg him to help him check if his wife had properly locked the doors and windows before they went to sleep.
I find that sweet because despite the achievement he wants to achieve on his trip, what’s paramount on his mind is the security welfare of his wife and children. That shows that he has the qualities of a good husband.
5. He Is The Loudest On Your Cheering Team
A good man will make you his priority. He will support you in every way on your journey to achieving your dreams and goals.
He will look for ways to make that journey an easy one for you. He will try his best not to become a stumbling block to you on your path to achieving that dream. One of the qualities of a good man is to always be there for you supporting you, no matter what.
6. He Does The Little Things
They say that it’s the little things that really matter. And that’s very true. Your man, if he is the right one, would do the things that may not seem much, but would make your heart fill with tenderness.
It could be buying the drugs from the pharmacy for you when you are ill. Or it could be offering to give you a lift if your car is displaced and you need to go to an important place early. Check out 10 Little Ways To Make A Difference In Your Marriage.
7. He Always Aim To Improve Himself
Your partner should inspire you to be a better version of yourself. And that can only be possible if he strives to do the same for himself as well. That is a good way to know if he has the qualities of a good man.
A good man, seeking to be a better man for you and everyone else will be looking for self-help books to read. He can access other media of information like seminars, videos, etc so that those around him will be motivated to work on improving themselves too. He will create a standard that you would want to follow naturally.
8. He Attacks The Problem In An Argument And Not You
Arguments and conflicts as a result of the differences in personalities will always come in every relationship. It’s inevitable; no avoiding it.
What’s paramount is how is the issue handled? Is it constructively or destructively? Your man has a lot to play in this. If he is the right one for you, he will come into the argument with a calm demeanor.
The plan on his mind should be how to apply the best possible way to handle the conflict so that you both will leave satisfied.
He wouldn’t let the quarrel turn personal and abusive. A man who is right for you wouldn’t attack you in an abusive manner. That’s certainly not one of the qualities of a good man but rather, he’ll try to tackle the issue at hand in a calm way.
Chuck Norris will say that “Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.”
A good man admits he is wrong when he is wrong. That shows two things. The first one is that he values you and doesn’t want to lose you.
The second one is that he is willing to work on himself and become a better person. That shows he is willing to be responsible and hence, become a steady pillar in your life. Here are 7 Steps To Stop Fighting In A Relationship.
9. He Respects Others
Imagine being with someone who can’t treat other people with kindness and respect? You are frowning and shaking your head, now, right?
That’s because any guy who easily looks down on other people and treats them with harshness tends to do very much the same with you. Maybe not now, but soon.
Not only would you feel uncomfortable introducing him to your family, friends, and others you love but you wouldn’t be able to vibe with him much in public. That’s because you might be busy apologizing to nearly everyone you meet on his behalf.
10. He Is Not Over Dependent On You
A good man wouldn’t start acting up like a baby and demanding your attention all the time. He would acknowledge the fact that you have other things to tend to such as your family and friends. He wouldn’t limit your social network. That’s because he also has other things to tend to, too.
11. He Is Not Insecure
A good man would learn to put his trust in you and not start acting up when you are away. He wouldn’t be checking your phone for no reason and starts asking irrational questions about where you have been.
He certainly wouldn’t fly off the handle like an insane man just because he saw you talking to another man.
12. He Holds Intellectually Stimulating And Fun Conversations With You
Imagine being in a relationship with someone and you can’t find joy in the conversations you both have because it’s literally boring and stale.
If it doesn’t stimulate or excite you in any way, if you don’t even look forward to it because you dread being bored when you talk to each other then he is probably not the right one for you.
Communication is a key aspect of every healthy relationship and when it cannot be spontaneous and engaging, then there is a problem.
If your man can’t laugh or make you laugh while talking to you, then a lot of things are wrong. And you will have to be careful to know if this is the person you are willing to make a full commitment with.
Fyodor Dostoevsky says that “One can know a man from his laugh, and if you like a man’s laugh before you know anything of him, you may confidently say that he is a good man.”
Check out these 100 Best Conversation Starters For When Communication Gets Boring.
13. You Feel Comfortable Talking To Him
If he is the one for you, then you wouldn’t feel uncomfortable talking to him on any issue at all. Whether it is a trivial topic like gossip or what happened at work or a serious issue that is affecting you emotionally, if you want to share with someone, he is one of the first few that should pop into your mind.
You share aspects of your life because you are confident that he wouldn’t fly off the handle or be judgemental when you do. You also know he would gently tell you his mind if he thinks you are making an error in a certain decision.
You may have other best friends that you talk to but when your man is the right one for you, then he certainly will be one of your top confidants.
14. He Creates Time For You
One of the qualities of a good man in a relationship is that he will create time for you. You as his woman will be his priority no matter how busy he is.
From the regular checkups on you, be it in physical form or through media, you will know that he values you and wants to spend time with you.
There is a saying that no matter how busy you are, you will always make time for what matters. This is true in relationships. You wouldn’t be getting a lot of flimsy excuses for canceled dates and infrequent phone calls.
My husband, being the executive head in his studio, should have more than twenty-four hours in his day because of how busy he is.
But despite that, he never fails to go out on a date with me twice a month, unless when he is sick or on a trip. He also remembers to send me flowers. That shows that he has the qualities of a good partner in marriage. Check out Habits Of Successful Marriages For More Insight.
15. He Respects You
A good man would acknowledge the fact that you are capable of making excellent decisions by yourself. As his partner, he would always seek an opinion from you when making decisions because he knows that they are valid.
He also considers your feelings in high esteem and that’s why he is going to do his best to remain faithful to you. Check out these shocking Signs Of Disrespect In A Relationship so as to avoid them.
Good men, especially those with the qualities of a good man to marry, are indeed rare to see around and if you find one, you are indeed one lucky woman. You should endeavor to appreciate him in your life and do not take him for granted.
For instance, just because he has promised to stay with you through the thick and thin, and his words reflect in his actions, does not mean that you should lie and cheat. Just because he depicts signs he a keeper doesn’t mean you will make him a doormat.
No faster way to cool the embers of the love a good man has for you than to take for granted his good intentions towards you.
So, the criteria I have given you will guide you and help you know the signs of a good man to marry. Ciao!
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