Trust is important because it is the basis around which all human relationships revolve. It is the belief and confidence in the integrity, reliability, and fairness of a person; an essential human value that quantifies and defines our interdependence in our relationship.
Trust is essential to our relationship because it provides a sense of safety. It is the sense of security that allows both parties to expose themselves fully without any judgment or fears. They feel comfortable to open up and expose vulnerability, knowing that you’ve got their back no matter what.
For a relationship to stay strong, you both must work hard to gain the trust you have for each other. Think about love as a seed that grows into a plant as you also grow in a relationship with someone. The soil is the trust that you have for that person; it gives the seed room to grow and blossom.
Trust allows you to be able to accept others positively and gives you the freedom to truly experience love. If you are finding it difficult or challenging to go about this. Here are some cues to guide you on how to build trust in a relationship:
5 Best Ways To Build Trust In A Relationship
1. Employ The Use Of Effective Communication
Communication is an important factor in understanding how to build trust in a relationship. Building trust takes a willingness to open yourself up.
What we say, how we say it, and how we respond to what others communicate can make or break trust. That’s why it is important to develop your interpersonal communication skills.
Good communication includes being clear about what you have or have not committed to and what has been agreed upon. It gives you the benefit of the doubt in situations where you want to be heard, understood, and believed.
It provides clarity, emotionally and mentally, how you expect to be treated. Knowing that you can express your feelings to someone, and that they still care about you, and that they will not dismiss you out of hand – that they will be willing to listen is a plus to your relationship.
Think about what commitment means to you and talk about them, ask your partner to do the same. Be open about doubts. Often, simply being able to say them out loud will help you understand them better.
Tell each other things that no one knows about yourselves, be sure to be forthcoming about finances, your past, and concerns with a family member, co-worker, etc.
Share that secret project you’ve considered starting, or why you’re nervous to meet their friends. It might not be easy but it is a great way to feel more comfortable with your significant other.
When something in the relationship bothers you, speak up, you might think you are doing them a favor by withholding it, but you’ll likely end up airing your grievance in worse ways down the road.
Make it a rule that important subject matters must happen in person. The true meaning of a message can get lost via text, email, and sometimes even phone. If what your partner is saying doesn’t sit well with you, discuss it privately or when alone or at home.
Communicate it with respect; no yelling, no gossiping, no belittling comments, no embarrassing him/her. Often disagreeing in front of others can shame or humiliate the other person. This kind of behavior will damage your line of communication and your trust factor.
Address questions that your partner asks you. Don’t be defensive in response to your partner’s need for information. They probably have a lot of questions that only you can answer. Try to see the questions as an opportunity for you to demonstrate the kind of truth-telling that your partner needs to see in order to trust you.
Sit up, face them, and make eye contact when speaking or listening. Don’t take a phone call, text, or play video games when you both are talking. Minimize leg shakes, body shifts, hand fidgets. It’s harder to trust someone who seems nervous or anxious.
Talk slowly, people respond better to someone who talks slowly and deliberately; the attitude and tone of your voice also communicate, so it is good to exude calmness and be measure in your speech.
2. Be Honest
Being truthful and honest is major when it comes to how to build trust in a relationship. Honesty is not just about telling the truth, it is also about being real with yourself and others about who you are, what you want, and what you need to live your most authentic life.
It is a voice for love that builds trust. It shows how much you really care and also demonstrates self-respect and respect for others.
It builds credibility, and credibility, in turn, affects how effectively we can influence others, encouraging others to reciprocate, deepening friendship and relationship, and without it (honesty) even ‘I love you’ becomes a lie in itself and there’s no real security in the relationship.
Honesty promotes openness, empowers us, and enables us to develop consistency in how we present the facts. Honesty is a facet of moral character that connotes positive and virtuous attributes such as integrity, truthfulness, straightforwardness of conduct, along with the absence of lying, cheating, theft, etc.
An honest and truthful person does not care for what may happen by staying with the truth. Honesty succeeds ultimately, while dishonesty will soon be discovered. When we are honest with each other, we don’t have to wonder what is being hidden or kept secret.
Naturally, we are at ease in our gut because we know the other person cares enough to tell us the truth. As new couples, understand that there is no point trying to be perfect, don’t waste your energy hiding your mistakes or weaknesses.
Admit that you are wrong (someone who’s never wrong is highly irritating). If you make excuses, try to shift the blame, cover up issues, or pretend it didn’t happen, the trust your spouse has in you will plummet. Admit that you don’t know about something; when you truly don’t know, and say it upfront and directly.
Truth never damages a cause that is just. If you are heading out for a boy’s/ girl’s night out, be honest with your partner. Don’t tell him/her that it is just another late day at the office.
Even if you manage to fool them temporarily, the truth has got an interesting character of revealing itself; no matter how long it has been buried, how carefully hidden, how intentionally twisted, it reveals itself in the end.
Once truth gains momentum, it’s unstoppable. They’ll see right through it and immediately peg you as someone who can’t be trusted and that can be very embarrassing.
Acknowledge the truth of what you’ve done and avoid any explanation, rationalization, excuses, or justification for your behavior. You’ll get a lot of credibility for that.
Emphasize that you are choosing not to lie because you care too much about the other person to be dishonest. That helps the other person see you have taken this harder road in being truthful.
3. Mean What You Say
The point of knowing how to build trust in a relationship is for others to believe what you say. Building trust requires not only keeping the promises you make but also it’s imperative that you stop saying things that you won’t follow through on, or that don’t represent your actual feelings.
Even what seem like minor lies, when chronic, will tell the other person that they should no longer trust the things that comes out from your mouth. If you’ve said you are going to be home by 5.pm, then make sure you are or at least let the other person know if something else comes up.
The most important factor here is consistency. If 3 out of 4 times you never bother calling and just come home as late as you want, then that’s a strong indicator that your needs matter more than your partner. If you say you are going straight home from school or work, do just that.
Continue to show that you can be trusted by being a man/woman of your words. Your consistency will also cast their doubts and insecurities away. If you’re in the habit of making promises and then breaking them, don’t be surprised if your partner becomes suspicious of you.
Act with integrity and make your actions match your words. If you say you are in love, you should engage in behaviors towards your partner that even someone else would observe as loving. We should spend real quality time with your significant other, in which you slow down and make contact.
Build a reputation of being direct and forthright and show that you can be counted on. Remember that talk is cheap and that ultimately you can gain your partner’s trust and show them what you expect from them when they see you truly walking the talk with consistency and respectfulness.
4. It Takes Time To Build Trust, So Be Patient
It is also very important to note this cue as it engineers how to build trust in a relationship.
Like the popular saying goes “Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, endures all things. Love never ends”.
One cue from this quote is that ‘love is patient’, and it gives the impression that patience matters in building love and trust.
Patience is a person’s ability to wait something out or endure something, without getting riled up. It is perseverance in the face of delay; or forbearance when under strain. It allows us to suspend judgment long enough to make informed decisions, thus paving the path to a happy and peaceful life/relationship.
It helps us give ourselves time to choose how to respond to a given event, rather than get emotionally hijacked by our emotions. It allows us to gain insight into how to build trust in a relationship and allows us to stay gathered no matter what is happening.
Exhibiting patience means that you can be persistent and stay in something for the long run. You don’t try to cut corners or do things in an unethical way; instead, you patiently work things out, do what needs to be done, and make things happen.
It increases our threshold of tolerance; it gives us the foresight to expect obstacles on our path and to deal with them diplomatically. When we expect challenges, we respond with more courage, strength, and optimism.
Since it is a reality that trust has to be earned over time, it is important to try not to rush the process. Acknowledge that the other person might need time to start trusting you. Reassure your partner that they can take as much time as they need to build that trust.
Try saying words like; “I know that I am serious about this commitment and I understand that you need more time to see the evidence and trust me. I can give you all the time you need”. You have to learn more about their character, both the good and the bad, the nice and the not-so-nice.
Remind yourself often that your partner was brought up differently from the way you were brought up and so, sees life differently from the way you see it. Additionally, remind yourself often that your experiences in life are not the same as those of your lover or spouse.
By knowing the inside out, you can understand their strength and flaws and become more naturally patient when dealing with them. In doing this, remind yourself that your patience is an aspect of love and a key component of a healthy relationship.
This will help sustain you, even as you succeed, slowly but surely, you’ll come to understand that delay doesn’t equal denial.
5. Respect Boundaries
In order to establish boundaries, you need to be clear with your partner, who you are, what you want, your beliefs, needs, values, and your limits.
This helps to guide you and your partner on how to build trust in a relationship, it helps you define how much space you are comfortable with in a relationship – be this emotionally or physically. And as you see over time that your limits are being respected and not violated, you come to trust your partner.
These boundaries can be about; how much time you need to yourself, how private you prefer to be, or how comfortable you are telling other people details about your relationship. Would you like to share your phone password with your partner? Or how comfortable are you with a touch in public.
Respecting these differences in opinion, perspective and feelings will earn you trust and improve your relationship.
Final Words On How To Build Trust In A Relationship
Thank you for taking out time to read through, I believe you’ve gained some knowledge on how to build trust in a relationship. The truth is that before you can trust others, remember how to trust yourself first. Fight the fear of your instincts failing you again.
Understanding that not all people will betray you is key to moving on and recovering from a past relationship betrayal. Just because one person lied to you doesn’t mean everyone is a liar.
If you fall into a cynical mindset where everyone cannot be trusted, you’ll only isolate yourself and breed a toxic mindset. So, learn to trust yourself so that you can trust others!
Do ensure to leave a comment in the box below to tell us what ways helps you as a person gain your partner’s trust, or possibly how to build trust in a relationship again for a deeper relationship. Enjoy!
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