As humans, no matter how much we love our special one, agreeing on everything is absolutely not possible. It isn’t because we have different personalities or different perceptions about the issues of life, or a whole lot of reasons that can lead to a fight.
However, none of us feel good after fighting with our significant other. Its impact depends on how you behave afterward. This is to say that, if handled the right way, the conflict becomes productive.
In fact, learning to navigate the post-fight process can set you up to bounce back stronger and closer than ever, each time.
If your post-fight life isn’t handled properly, it can lead to series of other problems and even divorce for married couples.
Not properly navigating those murky waters can make you guys start fighting over little things especially if an apology message isn’t tendered by any party.
Here are 50 Apology Messages to melt his heart after a fight and 8 Steps To Stop Fighting For Good. Now that you’ve fought, instead of fretting, it is time to do something about it. Here are a couple of ideas on what to do after a fight with your boyfriend
1. Take Some Time To ‘Calm Down’
This first cue on what to do after a fight with your boyfriend is to not engage with your man for some time. After things get ugly, it is important for you to wait till you calm down.
You might need some time alone to reflect, recover or heal, and that’s okay. You want to cool off in order to get your rational brain back online, and that’s fine!
Sometimes, something as simple as stepping away for a glass of water or practicing a calming breathing exercise can help you gather your thoughts and return more quickly to an emotionally neutral state.
If you live together, go take a shower or go for a walk, and you may be less tempted to lash out afterward. If the heat is still much, consider going away for a day or a weekend on your own or spending some more time outside of the house.
Making your own peace before talking to him will help you think clearly and not let your anger cloud your judgment and this can be beneficial to the relationship.
2. Cheer Up
After a fight, it is good to make things lighter. Studies have shown that putting on a smile, even if it is forced can lead to an almost immediately flood of endorphins.
So, rather than carrying a frowned face or a heavy heart about, look for ways to cheer up yourself. Watch a funny movie or spend time with a girlfriend who has a good sense of humor.
Cuddle or play with pets or with kids. Read back over old emails or text messages, or listen to old voicemails from both family and other friends that make you laugh.
You also could stand in front of a mirror and sing your heart out to let out those emotions. Just do whatever makes you feel happy and better.
3. Block All Negative Thoughts
Overcoming negative thinking is one of the major struggles you might encounter when thinking of what to do after a fight with your boyfriend.
Our minds love to go back to the past and replay the unhappy moments and paint it into something bigger, and then statements like; ‘he doesn’t love me anymore!’, ‘he yelled at me, so I mean nothing to him’, ‘how can he say that to me?’… begin to play in our heads.
The fact is, just because you haven’t heard from him yet doesn’t mean he isn’t interested anymore. So instead of dwelling on all those negative thoughts, use your mental energy to think about what you love about him.
Ask yourself: what does he add to the relationship? What does he do that makes you smile? Remember a situation in which he made you feel special, loved, beautiful, assured, and calm.
Bring that feeling to the front of your mind. In focusing on your boyfriend’s best qualities, you can create a culture of appreciation that fosters love instead of anger or contempt.
4. Talk Things Out
What to do after a fight with your boyfriend? Communicate. It is important to understand and communicate how you feel about the situation and not to push the issue under the rug.
When you express yourself, do so intentionally so that your partner can relate and understand you. If something made you incredibly angry during the fight, explain why it triggered you and why you reacted the way you did.
Analyze the cause of the fight and not the things that were said during the fight and avoid getting worked up while you discuss it. Make sure to position each of your statements around your feelings rather than around their actions.
By doing this, it kind of help both partners start to understand what emotions were present in the conflict and sometimes lurking below the surface in terms of the feelings that were there and the perceptions that you both had.
5. Listen To Him
So often when in the midst of a fight, we’re trying so hard to get our own point across that we essentially forget about the other person’s side.
When you’ve finished talking and it’s his turn to speak LISTEN. REALLY, TRULY LISTEN. Let him tell you how he feels, without you having to justify your reactions or actions.
Avoid interrupting or thinking about what you will say while he is speaking. Instead, give your full attention; make eye contact, be open-minded and affirm your understanding.
Let him talk about why he does whatever he does, and what he thinks or feels about it, and about your potential solution for the problem.
And ensure to accord him the same respect as he showed you while you spoke. Truly try and appreciate how he felt, try to put yourself in his position. It’s always easier to get by things when you can see things from the other person’s perceptive.
6. Take Ownership
Self-justification is a cold killer, as it causes us to build a case of total blame against the other person when things are going poorly between us. But to be a bigger person, you need to take responsibility for the role you played in the conflict.
Accept responsibility for the things you said out of anger and how you made your partner feel. Explain that you lost your cool in the moment.
Admit that you made a mistake and that you were wrong, (admitting that you were wrong, rather than to man-slain, or just sit down there quietly, is not only the right thing to do, it will also get you on the track to patch up things).
Once you are able to own the reality that it takes two to fight, you’ll be able to have a productive conversation with your partner where you can lower your defenses.
7. Apologize For Wrongdoing
Apologizing is one of the biggest ways you can make it up to someone. It is communicating regret for what you have done. It is accepting responsibility for the actions you took and communicating your intent to repair.
So, in seeking what to do after a fight with your boyfriend, you should consider offering a heartfelt apology message (in person if possible) and do your best to right any outstanding wrongs.
Show empathy by acknowledging his emotions and how you impacting him. “I didn’t realize you were feeling that way. That must have been really hard”. Or say that you are sorry for a specific act.
What’s more important is expressing to your partner that you understand exactly what you’ve done or said that hurt him. A genuine apology provides emotional healing for both the giver and receiver.
8. Forgive Yourself
Despite our best intentions to treat our romantic partner with respect and kindness, a lot of us behave in ways we wish we hadn’t during a fight.
We might make rude statements, show up late for an important event, fail to follow through on promises or even lie and cheat.
These transgressions may make us feel ashamed and disappointed in ourselves. But try not to be too hard on yourself and welcome yourself to the human race.
A place where flaws are inevitable, and where forgiveness is necessary to implement; and including forgiving yourself.
Self-forgiveness means that you accept the behavior, you accept what has happened and you are willing to move past it and move on with your life and relationship without ruminating over past issues (especially that cannot be changed).
It also helps to repair the damage that we might have caused thanks to wrongdoing or accident. Hence what to do after a fight with your boyfriend includes finding a way to quiet that nagging, critical voice that wants to remind you that you messed up or tell you that you are not good enough.
Remind yourself that you are not automatically a bad person for hurting him (you can do something wrong while still being a good person), even though you are not proud of what you did.
Think of each “mistake” as a learning experience that holds the key to moving forward faster and more consistently in the future. If that doesn’t work for you, ask yourself what you would tell your best of friends if they were sharing this mistake they made with you, and take your own advice.
9. Forgive Him
Forgiveness can also be defined as a deliberate decision to let go of feelings of anger, resentment, and retribution toward someone who you believe has wronged you. It is the ability to let go of past wrongs in order to move forward.
Forgiving the other person is a wonderful way to honor yourself. It affirms to the universe that you deserve to be happy. And by being the bigger person, you put yourself in a position of power.
Yes, he hurt you, and that’s okay (that’s life!). Initially, you will be hit with a lot of emotions, but holding on to that emotion for too long becomes a heavy burden to carry.
Fact is, it takes more energy to stay angry and hold a grudge than it does to love and forgive. More so, since you’ve been able to forgive yourself already, remind yourself of how much forgiveness means to you and extend that hand of fellowship.
10. Reassure Him That You Love Him Still
Reassure your boyfriend you love him. Tell him how happy you are to be his despite the fights and argument, and that you love him with every ounce in you, and wouldn’t trade him for anything else in the world.
Be sincere and honest in how you convey your feelings to him. Make him see that all you’ve always wanted was the best for you both and the relationship as well.
And that you wouldn’t want to intentionally cause him hurt or hurt him. By making this move, you acknowledge that the fight is just a temporal setback in the relationship and you are committed to moving forward.
11. Discuss The Solution
During this step of what to do after a fight with your boyfriend, you’ll both sit down and a find solution. Discuss ways to avoid the issue so that it won’t happen again.
Also discuss what you can do to change the behavior or actions behind these issues, as well as what you can do to make your partner happy again. How you can make this happen as soon as possible and make sure that this behavior is kept up.
However, if you and your partner seem to fight frequently or don’t seem to have the skill to resolve the argument after a fight, you might want to seek out professional help.
A counselor or therapist can help you understand your feelings and work through them in one way or the other, as well as guide you on how to heal a relationship after a fight. Having an honest discussion about why the argument occurred and how to avoid it again in the future will make the relationship move harmonious in the long term.
12. Make Up As Soon As Possible
One of the best gifts you can give to yourself and your partner is to re-connect and restore harmony as soon as you can.
Since you’ve practiced all other outlined steps, then this step on what to do after a fight with your boyfriend will be most beneficial, as it empowers you to fully go into the next level and have a fresher aura around your relationship.
It is time to do something fun and try to pit the whole argument drama aside. Come up with a joke and change the atmosphere.
Play team sport. Cake or bake together. Go on a date, go see a movie. Walk or jog together. Find a place where you don’t mind revealing your beautifully imperfect body and jump in (swim). Ask for a hug, and be generous enough to give one, and enjoy your relationship.
Thanks for the read! So when next you have a fight with your guy, don’t fret. Just apply these methods on what to do after a fight with your boyfriend and build a better and stronger relationship that you desire.
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