Going through a break-up is like having your heart stabbed again and again like a see-saw. Whether it’s you or your partner that had initiated the break-up, it’s a horrible experience that drains a person in every way.
One second you are feeling on top of the world for making a decision that could only have been the best for you, the next second you are not so sure about that.
When someone you have become so attuned to, that you both have begun to plan what number of wedding guests or children to have or the type of house to live in, and suddenly, as if with a knife, that person is cut off from the ‘we’ picture, it’s like being in a room without air and you can’t breathe.
The future would suddenly lose its hope, the present would no longer be exciting and you would feel like drowning in the memories of the past forever.
Families, friends, and colleagues will check up on you but you would care less about their concern because you would think they won’t understand the agony you are going through.
But the thing is, most people around you have gone through this arduous time and they can truly empathize with you.
And you can’t waste years or even months dwelling on something that has happened already, can you?
No matter how much you seem to want to, you can’t waste too many precious moments of your life dwelling on what can not be changed. That’s why you have to look for how to get over a breakup fast. You are single now, and that’s the best time to develop yourself as an individual.
It’s the time to explore opportunities you didn’t have the time or will to because you were attached to someone.
So now, I will be telling you ways on how you can get over a break up with someone you love.
1. Accept That It’s Over
This is the first thing to do on your quest of how to get over a breakup fast. You have to convince your mind that the relationship you’d cherished and worked so hard for is over.
You have to stop thinking about the possibility of still working it out, that maybe there is still hope of connecting back with your ex.
There is no going back to him or her. You can say it to yourself over and over again. You can even write on a book you usually go along with, or write it on a stick-it paper and paste it on the wall of your room or set it as a reminder on your phone.
Anything that will ring in your head that you have gone through the final split will ease the way of getting over a breakup fast and move on with your life. It will stop you when you are about to dial the number of your ex or drive to his or her place to ask if there is still the slightest hope of being together again.
2. Build Up Your Self-Esteem
Many a time, when we go through break-ups, our self-worth deteriorates. We keep thinking that maybe we were the problem, that something was wrong with us hence the break-up.
We try to tear ourselves out, wondering if it was our bodies or personalities or even our lifestyles that had made it so impossible to live with that person that you had incorporated into your plans for the future.
I found myself doing this during one of the breakups I had before I got married. Even though I was the one who had called to meet with him and then broke up with him, I kept blaming myself that I was the one at fault.
I kept wondering if I had been too impatient and intolerant with him. Maybe, I hadn’t thought enough about it. And that because I was too impulsive, I had just lost not only the love of my life but someone who was like my best friend.
I felt like that for a long time until I talked to a psychologist in my neighborhood that I had sought help on how to move on after breakup with boyfriend.
He made me realize that the reason most couples end things was not that there was something actually wrong with them but because they were not compatible with each other. It is as simple as that.
So instead of convincing yourself that you are the one with the fault, try writing down positive things about yourself. For example, jot down good qualities people around you have said about you. Say them to yourself repeatedly.
It would make you realize that people still appreciate you as a person. That you are a unique and wonderful person It would definitely help with the times you are feeling low about yourself after the breakup.
3. Withdraw From The Dating Scene
This is one way on how to get over a breakup fast. You should realize that your emotions are probably the most unstable that they can be right now. And so it wouldn’t be ideal to rush back into the dating world so soon.
The chances that you would feel dirty and cheap when with your new partner is very high and that would be like tampering with a body’s injury over and over again. You might end up constantly comparing your present partner to your ex and not only would that be unfair to your present partner but will serve as fodder to feed your misery.
So why don’t you take time off dating for a while? Now that you are single, explore yourself. Do things that make you happy. Do things that wouldn’t remind you of the unpredictability of relationships.
4. Reconnect With Your Friends And Family More
A way that will help you on how to get over a breakup fast is to go back to those who will always care for you. After a bad breakup is the best time to reconnect with your family and friends more especially when you’d wrapped yourself around your ex up to the point that you have strained your relationship with those you love.
The emotional support, free from judgment, that they will give to you will help heal the emotional and mental stress that you will probably be feeling right now.
I don’t know if I should be grateful to my sister’s ex for the bond I now share with my sister. Before the breakup with her ex, the highlight of the relationship I had with my sister was a brief mechanical call once a month. It had hurt because we live in the same city but I had chalked it up to my sister’s really active social and career life.
Until one late night, about two years ago, when she had appeared on my doorstep with swollen eyes, damp cheeks, and luggage.
Instantly, I understood what was going on. And as her elder sister, I did my best to put back the light in her eyes.
The late-night watching movies, the more time with our parents and family pets, the humor-saturated hangout with childhood friends really went a long way in doing that. It was the strength she was looking for on how to get over a breakup that had nearly shattered her.
And so even though she’s in another serious relationship presently, we see each other twice a month because we have both found that the emotional connection we share is one not to renege on.
5. Try Out New Things
A way that helps on how to get over a breakup fast is to try out new skills or hobbies. They would serve as a distracting medium for you to pour your energy and time in. It could be a new class, or gyming, or even a weaving skill.
I remember when I broke up with my ex. It was exactly nine days later that as a way to get out of the numbness I was rapidly sinking in, that I picked up my laptop and typed my first sentence as a writer.
Writing became a channel that helped me realize that I can become a better person without my ex. Giving my all into it, writing became the ears into which I poured my hurts and self-doubts.
The worlds I created disengaged me from the real world where disillusion was the order of the day. And before I knew it, it got easier to cope with day to day living without my ex.
So you can do the same too. You might be surprised to find a passion for it. And that would be like slaying two fat birds with one stone.
6. Temporarily Avoid Places You And Your Ex Both Loved
This is a premium hack on how to get over a breakup with someone you love. Going to places that were you and your ex favorites so soon after a break up will do nothing but to awaken and reawaken the ache that is in you.
It could be a favorite restaurant or a hangout place like a tourist park that both of you had adored together. Any place that held most of your cherished memories should be avoided for now.
This takes me back to when I had recently broken up with the ex I had mentioned earlier in the post. The place where we had our first kiss was on the shortest route to my work-place.
There was nothing too special about the place; it was an abandoned store where a commercial food seller once was. But even when I was in a hurry to work or not, anytime I passed that place, fond memories would come rushing back.
Memories of desire and promises. And without knowing, tears would pool in my eyes, and even as I reached into my bag for some tissue, I would wonder frantically what had gone so wrong that we would end up opposite of what we had planned for ourselves.
I’m sure anyone who had seen me on the road during those moments and had understood must have gone through a breakup. But otherwise, they would have wondered if this young woman didn’t need to go to a hospital. It was certainly not what I wanted for myself since I was already looking for how to get over a breakup fast.
So later, I made a decision not to pass that route for some time. And even though I had to get up earlier for work, the toll on my mental and emotional health got easier.
So yes, avoid those memories inducing places for now, dear. That’s one solid way that will help you on how to move on after a breakup when you are still in love.
7. Cut Your Ex Off
Do you want to know how to move on fast from your ex? Then cut him or her off for the meantime. Remove your ex number from your speed dial, unfollow your ex on social media, be it Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and others. Cut him or her off!
This wouldn’t be easy to do. When you have cared about a person’s happiness for too long, putting a stop to checking what is going on with that person lately will literally drain you.
But you still in contact with that person online would make you do reckless actions in a bid to show him or her that you are living very fine without them. And faking happiness would only intensify the really low moments when they come.
Also, cutting your ex off online would help you avoid the feeling of being ill, confused, and angry when your ex begins to post updates of them with other partners. And that can be overwhelming.
So for the sake of the peace of your mind, cut them off online. It would help you with how to get over a breakup fast.
Hopefully, these ways that I and many others have used to help us through our own hard times will help you on how to get over a breakup fast.
There are a lot of wonderful opportunities you can avail yourself of as an individual so the sooner you get out of that pit hole of melancholy that you have immersed yourself in, the better for you.
You had a breakup dear, you didn’t lose yourself. Like one of my favorite sayings from Leo Buscaglia:
“Let go. Why do you cling to pain? There is nothing you can do about the wrongs of yesterday. It is not yours to judge. Why hold on to the very thing which keeps you from hope and love? “
So imagine as you read this post that you and I are holding glasses of Merlot wine and let’s cheers to anticipating a rediscovered you.
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