One of the biggest issues about love it sometimes it just ends and you can do nothing about it when it does. This happens even with the happiest of marriages; love sometimes just seizes to exist but how we manage the situation is what determines how well the relationship lasts.
This happens because love is an emotion, a feeling, and just like any other feeling or emotion, it can’t be the same all the time.
You are asking us ‘how to get your ex back because you acted in a rush during your time in the relationship and called it off even when it was not yet time. Love left the group chat and you decided to close everything down like it never existed.
One thing you failed to realize was the fact that just like any other feeling love also returns and it does this most times when you are away.
Now, you are stuck with a search history filled with ‘how to get your ex-boyfriend back fast and ‘how to win your ex-girlfriend back.
Sometimes saying it is over can be the biggest mistake of our lives – maybe this is the case here; if it wasn’t, you wouldn’t be asking me how to get your ex back.
This is one tricky topic but it is quite understandable because we understand the phenomenon of love and how crazy it can be sometimes – one minute you want someone every day and the next minute you hate them.
The truth is most times the answer to the question ‘how to get back together with your ex’ can be found within. Some people believe that love never really dies and once someone loves you, it opens up a soft spot almost forever in their heart but this ultimately depends on how badly you hurt them when the relationship was called off.
In this article, we would be focusing on both sides of the coin – what to do when the relationship ended well and also when the relationship left scars on your ex. We would be looking at how to get your ex back when he has moved on.
There are different reasons why you are the one doing this search and not him – ranging from the fact you think breaking up was a mistake to the fact that you still love him.
That been said, getting back together with your ex is never going to be a straight-line movement –the question of how to get your ex-girlfriend back, has no specific answer. It is always going to be subject to different things, why the relationship ended, the kind of person your ex is, etc.
Indicators That This Might Work
Before we jump into any adventure, feasibility is one thing that we must pay close attention to at any given point in time.
“If I search for the best way to get your ex back and attempt it, would it work?” – this is a question you should ask yourself before starting to win them back. There are some things we look at to show us if getting our ex back is possible and they include;
- How the relationship ended in the first place – what was your reason for leaving them in the first place? Sometimes relationships are ended for stupid reasons, family not accepting the religious, financial, or social background of your partner.
It could be because of something they did in their past that you felt was unforgivable but now you know better. When you ended for silly reasons; the chances of getting back are increased because time most times brings maturity and you can now see things from the other person’s view.
- You are still compatible with him or her – you still enjoy the same music and have the same goals, hopes, and dreams.
Most times people change when the relationship ends, so if your partner is still trying to be the way they were when you were together – it is most likely that they are still looking for someone like you and who better to play you than you.
Check what they listen to, where they spend their time these days, if nothing has changed then the probability of them wanting you back is high enough to give this a try.
- This is the silliest of the bunch when they feel different without your presence in their life. This may sound weird but sometimes we take for granted the connection we have with others – a man can start functioning below par at the workplace simply because his girlfriend left him, it is a normal phenomenon.
Sometimes someone loves you to the extent life becomes useless when you are unavailable. So, you don’t need to search for how to get your ex back, if you see them in this type of situation, just say you are sorry and the love will come back like it never left.
How To Get Your Ex Back – The 8 Foolproof Steps!
We would reiterate that although these are general steps on how to get your ex back, it might not work for everybody.
There are factors you have to first look at before jumping to these steps – some of these factors have been listed above. That been said, here is a dummy guide with 8 foolproof steps on how to get your ex back;
1. Be Far Apart First
We know you want to be together again; we know what you searched for are steps on how to get back together with your ex but it is important to be apart first.
Even with relationships and marriages, the experts will always advise that the couples spend some time doing the things they love to do alone.
Personal space is one of the most important gifts you can give your partner when you are in a relationship and it sure has twice the value when the person in question is your ex.
Over time, research has shown that the best way to get your ex back would be to let go and give them some space. The idea behind this is that the space given is accompanied by some time for them to have an introspect.
This space gives space for them to think and most likely reconsider their decision to stay apart when they realize how much they miss you being with them. To make things even more effective, you are not allowed to have contact with them during this period – they should be bold enough to tell you how much they miss you and want you.
2. What Happened Previously
Focus first on why you left each other in the first place – it most times might be nothings but accumulated over time; these nothings killed the beautiful thing you once shared with your man.
The hardest question you have to answer is now is how to get your ex back can these issues be fixed now. Most times it might be for some funny reason; that doesn’t matter as long as when you ask yourself if these issues can be fixed, the answer you get is a yes.
If you left because your ex developed some habits that didn’t sit well with you, this is the time to check if you can cope with them now.
If you find out you cannot cope with them, we suggest you quit looking for how to get your ex-boyfriend back fast because the relationship would most likely end again.
Also, if you developed some yourself or made some changes in your life that made him run away, this is the time to check and make adjustments. The reason why this is important is that if the issues that made them leave are not fixed, there is a high possibility that they would leave again.
3. Stop Competing
The biggest mistake couples make in the 21st century is the use of social media for things that should be kept private. Just put yourself in your girlfriend’s shoes for a second and then ask yourself if you would go back regardless of how many hours of begging are involved.
Imagine, you broke up and things you told him in private are seen on his social media pages – he keeps up this very negative energy online and continues painting you as a bad person then years later he says he is sorry and wants to get back.
Your answer most definitely will be a no regardless of how sweet the love journey was that you both had. We know you are hurting now but the truth is going online to give off negativity is not the best way to go about things.
Also, after a breakup, your lives don’t turn into a competition, we say this because it is the first thing people think of most times.
She is in a relationship, so you should be in one or he is clubbing every night and you decide to do that even if it is not part of your lifestyle.
At the end of the day, you would end up hurting yourself even more and when this is done in your partner’s face, it becomes even hard for them to believe you both still stand a chance in the future.
4. Work On Yourself
The first thing a lot of us think of when a relationship ends is self-hurt and contrary to popular belief this is not just done by cutting your wrist or burning your fingernails. Some of us, would go out, get drunk and make a fool of ourselves simply because we lost love.
Now, don’t get us wrong, it is okay to vent and express grief whichever way we choose to but think about it for a second.
If you got a call that your ex nearly died after a breakup because she cut herself in the vein, would you be comfortable going back to that ex. I doubt you would and this is why we must try to be mature with our ways of handling pain.
Also, when you get back talking, don’t ignore vital topics, you have been separated for a while now so kill the elephant in the room.
What has been going on in your lives since the breakup – is one of you in a relationship now, how serious is it. These questions are important if you want your relationship to be top tier.
5. Start From Being Friends
Yes, we read everything that was said in the subheading above but the truth is this is someone you parted ways with some time ago.
So, trust and other factors needed for love might not come immediately. Make sure they know you are comfortable knowing that the process would take time, and also you won’t take it to heart if they decide friendship is what is best for the both of you.
Also, looking desperate is the worst thing you can do to yourself – think back to when the both of you were in love.
Remember how you both laughed at that guy that kept begging for her attention at night before you had intercourse – if you recalled, after you got her to climax, she blocked his number.
The question how do you want to be that desperate guy and watch how she treats you because it is not going to be funny in any way.
So, don’t beg her for love and make sure your self-esteem is always in check, this is how to win your ex-girlfriend back.
6. Slow And Steady Wins
Before you begin the quest to get the fire burning again between you and an old flame, it is important to first prepare yourself for the possibility that it might not even work at the end of the day.
There is always the possibility that they have completely moved on or in a relationship – so, don’t rush this process. Remember you have a life too, causally go out and meet new people – this even has a good effect on your ex because when they keep seeing you happy, they think of how to be part of that happiness.
On the other hand, if you are always on their case, it is more or less a situation of ‘if I was the source of your happiness, why did you let me go in the first place.
So, we advise that you first let your ex know what you want; it is important to always be honest about how you feel. Once they are fully aware of the situation at hand, the next thing is to take it slow, remember Rome was not built in a day – this is how to get your ex back.
7. Know Your Advantage
We read an article which was a law that they called the ‘Okafor’s Law’. This law states that once a man has had a woman, he can continue having her and a believer in this law puts it to a test with past girlfriends that have stayed separated for 21 days or more.
We are not saying there is any science to back this rule up but common sense and experience have shown that there is an atom of truth here.
This is why the new man would always be uncomfortable leaving his girl with her ex regardless of how much trust he has in her.
So, just going for it might be the only step you need to answer the question ‘how to get your ex back. The fact that you have been in love at some point in your life is all that you need to get back as a lover.
Focus on all the things you learned while you were together with her in love and harmony – what tickles their fancy, their weaknesses. It makes the process of getting them back very easy.
8. Want It This Time
After all said and done, you must want the relationship even more than you did the first time; if this is not the case then the whole process of studying how to get your ex-girlfriend back becomes a total waste of time.
So a conscious effort should be put into this venture this time – you know what he or she likes to do, what makes them happy and the reason they left the relationship in the first place, it is important to use all this information for your advantage.
This is not a step but if you are looking for how to get your ex back, we suggest that you end things well when ending.
We understand that falling out of love can be painful but it is important to note that just like other feelings love can also come back and when it does, you would need a back to their lives.
So if you feel like the issues you had while you were together can be fixed, if you feel horrible about yourself for staying away from them and if you are willing to compromise on the differences you must have had in the past then these are 8 foolproof steps on how to get your ex back when he has moved on.
Subsequently, you can try out these resources 9 Things To Make Your Relationship Stronger, 15 Reasons For Most Divorces, and 8 Silent Relationship Killers To Avoid that might be responsible for your initial breakup.
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