A relationship can be strong and smooth-sailing until some relationship killers rear their ugly end. Every relationship has what we call the “honeymoon phase” and at this stage, that saying “love is blind” is really evident.
Everything feels phenomenal, your partner is the love of your life, and you view life through rose-colored glasses.
With time, that honeymoon phase will fade (learn how to bring back your honeymoon phase here), your relationship will evolve and obstacles will appear.
This test of time and tension is inevitable between you and your partner and how you handle these deadly marriage killers will determine how strong your relationship will wax.
A strong relationship is built on love, honesty, and trust amongst other things – a break in this can cause ruination in the relationship but most times this can be detected.
A relationship is like a building, it has a foundation, fence, and even a roof. The building can last for years if properly taken care of but if not, it can come down crashing one day. But before it does, there are most certainly visible cracks but the invisible ones will be the ones in the foundation.
That is just how a relationship is; before a relationship comes crashing, you must have noticed the signs like lack of communication, contempt, physical withdrawal but the ones you won’t notice are the ones located in the foundation of your relationship. They are the BIGGEST SILENT KILLERS!
Bad relationship killers can come from anywhere; the past, present, or even the future. To tell the truth, you’d never actually see them coming – things that you think were normal will end up being the cause of your sadness.
Most of these relationship killers take effect in our heads, they reside in our thought structure. Here are some of the relationship enders that you should beware of!
8 Biggest Silent Relationship Killers Every Couple Should Avoid
1. Having A Boring Routine
This is one of the top five relationship killers that creeps up silently on us. Some of us have planned out our life so much that we have triumphantly kicked out all the fun from it.
Monday means ‘work till late’ and it runs till Friday, then dinner at a small restaurant. Saturday is for home chores and Sunday is for church service, picnic/barbecue brunch. Nothing is added and nothing is removed.
Honestly, this gets boring for your lover especially if they are the kind that loves ‘spice’ or ‘variety of life’. So, having a stale routine is one of the deadliest relationship killers out there.
Also, if your relationship lacks surprise then your relationship is most likely heading down the drain. So, break out of that well-laid, staid, stale, and boring routine cage and spice up your relationship. Spicing up your relationship with some fun routines of happy couples will keep this relationship ender at bay.
2. Fizzling Desire
Many a time, relationships just happen and we have no jurisdiction whatsoever of the actions that lead up to you falling head over heels for them. You know the “how did we even get here?” kind of love.
Most times, this supposed feeling of love is simply infatuation that we mistake for the real deal and before we know it gets too late to turn back. No matter the outcome, infatuation never lasts.
Some day, either you or he would wake up suddenly from that your trance and realize how much of a mistake it was to accept being together forever. What you thought was your one true love story takes a turn for the worst because you realize that it was not even meant to start in the first place.
This is Silent killer number one because we don’t even know when it starts and how it eventually ends. Those scorching desires for each other just burn out.
3. Personal/Life Baggage
This is one of the deadliest relationship killers and it has everything to do with both the past and present. Sometimes, when we think we have moved on but the past tells us differently – it comes to haunt us in ways we cannot explain.
The love we feel for an ex is a piece of baggage that would follow us if we never really moved on. Another baggage you can carry in the present is bitterness and past childhood traumas that were never resolved.
Before we get into new relationships, we should always ensure that our past baggage is properly healed, if not we are not going to enjoy the relationship.
No matter how much you suppress those pieces of baggage or try to convince yourself that you’re fully healed, they must surely come to play or affect current and future relationships; that is why we need to properly let go and heal before new relationships.
One key to not making this relationship enders the end of your relationship is to forgive and let go. Forgive yourself, forgive your ex, and let go of all to heal. Here are easy and fast ways to heal from heartbreak.
4. Lack Of Communication
This is one of the top five relationship killers globally and is 10 of the worst habits that can destroy your marriage and lead to divorce.
When it comes to relationships, most people assume that their partners can read minds and should know what they want, what they’re feeling, or thinking without actually communicating.
This, of course, creates tension, and the more time you spend not talking about what’s actually bothering you, the tenser you become and the larger a rift you create between you and your partner.
Also, communicating in bits and pieces or not making an effort can cause a huge rift in your relationship. It is common knowledge that we are most times too busy to keep in touch, I strongly advise that we keep in touch so as not to start to feel like miles away from your lover.
You must always remember that it takes trust, love, and proper communication to hold a relationship together. If one is lacking then I am sorry to say but your union suffers.
5. Always Making Assumptions
A lot of times, we act like a ‘know-it-all’ Chessmaster predicting six moves in the game but this is not a game in the first place. Adding to the fact that a relationship is not a game, you do not even know anything, not to talk of knowing it all.
“I used to assume my wife enjoys our foreplays especially the way I usually finger her, I was always hard with it”, says Max.
“This was one of the reasons I almost lost my wife. I went for a seminar one day and the speaker kept stressing about communicating in a relationship.
She was there too and we had a long conversation about a lot of things, it made me understand that I was wrong in most of my assumptions and it was hindering the love and affection she had for me”.
It might not be in bed but it is wrong to assume anything when you can simply get clarity by asking your spouse. So next time instead of assuming something about your spouse even their like or dislike, why don’t you ask him or her.
6. Unmet Expectations
An unmet expectation to me is the biggest and most devastating of all the relationship killers. When we are expecting something, we are putting in every sphere of our being -physical, emotional, spiritual, etc, and when it turns out badly, it has a tremendous effect on us.
During my much younger years, I once dated a guy I met on tinder for five months and the relationship ended at our first meeting.
We had been planning for him to spend a weekend with me and our goals finally came to reality. He was a dirty film actor but I didn’t care that much, he promised to stop once his contract was off and he barely even had a year on it.
I gave him a bogus perception of me, I presented myself as a bed goddess when I knew I wasn’t. I told him a million and one things I was going to do to him and believe me I tried but I wasn’t built to swing on my bed for hours and four rounds didn’t mean anything at all to him.
When your expectation is too high for the abilities of your spouse, it becomes an issue in the journey to happily ever after.
7. Being Taken For Granted
This is one of the most painful relationship enders out there. No one likes it and no one will sit with it.
You might think you are currently winning because they are putting up with all that you do, hoping you will eventually change and become the partner they’ve always dreamt of you to be. But if it takes longer than they’ve planned for your eyes to open to see what is in front of you, they might leave.
Being taken for granted is an all-time relationship killer that is not a respecter of time; it doesn’t care whether you’ve been together for 25 years or if you’re just 3 months into your relationship. Once it eventually finds its way into your relationship, it’s killing it without a warning.
So, I’d advise you to do a self-check right now. Are you taking your partner for granted or are you being taken for granted? If yes is the answer to any of those questions, then there you have it – a deadly relationship killer that might be on course to ending your relationship.
You should also learn how to appreciate your partner if you want to stop taking them for granted. Appreciation doesn’t have to be extravagant all the time, the little things go a long too.
8. Unfulfillment And Unsatisfaction In The Bedroom
The bedroom holds the biggest powers in our love life whether we believe it or not. Communicating clearly with our spouse helps us understand what they need and then when we do, it is up to us to try our best to compromise where we can.
Truthfully speaking, if there is no spice in the bedroom, it will become boring like all other parts of the house and that will lead to grave consequences because it’s the base on which your foundation of trust, affection, and love is built on.
If you want to take the boredom out of your bedroom you should be willing to try out new positions, not every day it’s still the same missionary position that you did last year. Try out new positions like doggy, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, etc.
Also, be open to playing out you and your partner’s biggest fantasy, it’s sure to spice up your bedroom life unimaginably. Talk dirty, most men love it when you talk dirty to them in the bedroom or personally (in his ears) in public or shocking places.
Finally, always change your “BEDROOM” venue; if the bed becomes your leading or only location spot, it becomes boring; try the couch, dining table, or even in showers.
Final Thoughts On Relationship Killers
Love is beautiful and I know you want your relationship to stand the test of time but you have to recognize that there are some relationship killers out there trying to make sure your goals don’t come through.
These are some of them and I hope that with this knowledge all you need is an introspection to see if any have already sneaked in or about to sneak in. Knowing your problem is the biggest step in the journey towards solving it.
I’ve talked about the 8 biggest silent relationship killers that slowly crawl into your relationship. I hope that this resource helps you catch these sly invaders before they fully invade your relationship and destroy it.
I want to know in the comment section, your encounter with these sly invaders if you’ve had any, I would really like to hear from you. Xoxo, sending you all love and light!
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