Everyone desires to have a secure and stable relationship. And most people have found out from experience that only attraction/ love cannot keep a relationship.
There is a relationship seminar that I handled some while back in Ohio and most of the questions the people there asked were that they didn’t know what had caused their relationship to collapse so quickly especially as they had felt so attracted to their partners.
I will tell you what I told them: love or chemistry does not give any solid assurance that the relationship is going to last for long.
Don’t get me wrong, attraction to one’s partner is important. After all, you can’t enjoy being with a partner when the chemistry is not there. But you have to do certain things that will keep your relationship strong, otherwise, it’s bound to crumble sooner or later.
Love and relationship are like a garden. It will only thrive when you give it the right nourishment and hard work, no matter how viable the seeds are. And the nourishment and hard work have to be coming in consistently.
You can’t weed the garden today and then leave it unattended for the next three weeks. And come back expecting it to still be weedless.
Or planting a seed without watering it and expecting it to germinate and grow. It will die off! So, while giving your relationship (“garden”) nourishment and hard work, do so consistently.
So if you are in a new relationship and you want to know how to keep a relationship strong. Or if your relationship is an old one but it’s hitting the rocks slowly and you are eager to know if there is a way of putting your relationship back on the right track. Then these nine successful relationship tips are you!
1. Hone Your Communication Skill
For your relationship to be stronger, you should be able to communicate easily with your partner. William Paisley tells us that communication is the fuel that keeps the fire of your relationship burning, without it, your relationship goes cold.
Strengthening the communication in your relationship is the most important step to making your relationship last long.
For instance, stating one’s needs and expectations to one’s partner will make him or her understand you more. He or she is not a mind reader after all.
Now, that you both are on the same page, your partner will try to meet those needs for you. Also, actively listening to your partner, like making the appropriate body language, and then he or she doing the same for you, will make both of you feel valued in the relationship and thus solidify the emotional connection between you two.
Sometimes, because we think we know a partner so well and we have become so busy with life activities, we take for granted the fact that we should mark out time to talk to our partners. This shouldn’t be so.
You two should mark out time to talk to each other regularly and discover new things about yourself. It’s best when you do this in person instead of with texts and calls (though they are important, too).
Indulge in small talk. Talk about little things that had happened during the day. Here are some conversation starters to help you.
You should trust each other enough to be open and honest with each other. This will cause your relationship to be better.
2. Show That You Appreciate Them
Do you remember the saying that little things matter? It truly does. When you have been with a partner for long, you may begin to take for granted the acts of kindness that he or she does for you.
In fact, you may think that as your partner, he or she’s expected to do it for you and you may begin to demand them. This attitude is wrong.
Just because he’s your boyfriend does not mean he should take your car to the mechanic when in need of servicing or take out the trash. Don’t demand it. This is not how to keep your relationship strong with boyfriend. He only did so because he cares for you.
Just because she’s your girlfriend does not mean she has to be the one buying your groceries. She chose to do so.
So you should let your partner know that you appreciate everything that he or she does.
You can say, “Thank you for taking the car to the mechanic workshop. It really saved me a lot of stress.”
Or when you see your groceries well arranged by your girlfriend in your kitchen, you could give her a long thank-you kiss. This is how to keep a strong relationship with your girlfriend.
This will make your partner feel appreciated and cared for. In the long run, the bond between you two will tighten and put your relationship on the right track on how to keep a relationship strong.
3. Things To Do In A Relationship: Support Each Other
Few things are better than knowing that your partner that you care so much for is your number one fan cheering you on. Want to know how to keep a relationship strong? Then you should realize that you two are a team.
Support each other’s dreams and goals. Be the loudest on his or her cheering team. Help seek out ways with which he or she can have an advantage in achieving that dream. If your spouse is a writer, making out time to read and review his or her drafts; it will make your spouse’s day.
My partner, for instance, is a music video director. Anytime a music video is launched, even if it’s to wake up two hours earlier, I try to make time from my airtight schedule to be there early for the launching to give him my support.
Sometimes, he’d come back home on those days with my favorite flowers and ice cream to say that my support meant the world to him.
And he would support me the same way in my writing career. I doubt that there are any of his friends that haven’t contacted me for a writing gig. So you see.
The support we willingly give each other has strengthened our relationship. That’s why for a relationship to be healthy, the support for each other must be there.
4. How To Keep A Relationship Strong: Focus On Yourself
One way on how to keep a relationship strong is to be an individual who can have healthy interests outside the relationship. A relationship lasts long when the couple is not over-dependent on each other as this will cause strain on your relationship.
No one enjoys being with a possessive partner. A possessive person usually does not think much about his or her worth.
They hinge everything they have on the relationship and become too needy because of their low self-esteem and the fear of being alone. They become depressed when they can’t keep the relationship.
So to prevent such toxicity, build your self-esteem as a person. Cultivate good habits, spend time with family and friends, find new interests and hobbies.
Discover and fall in love with yourself as a person. This will make your spouse love, appreciate and respect you more. You can also learn about toxic habits to avoid here.
5. How To Make Your Relationship Strong: Show Each Other Affection
Affection is a sign of intimacy between two persons. A relationship can hardly survive without Intimacy. The mistake many people in a long relationship make is to neglect other forms of affection besides lovemaking. And this is not how to keep a relationship strong.
You two should normalize the act of hugging even when outside the house. Or hold hands when sitting on the couch in front of the television.
Kissing each other in or outside the house should be something that gives pleasure and not to be done distractedly or just as part of foreplay in the bedroom. These acts of intimacy help to intensify the emotional bond between couples. Learn more ways to stay madly in love with your partner.
6. Do Not Dredge Up Past Relationships
Most persons are scarred from the traumatic experiences of their previous relationships. They tend to bring that emotional baggage into the present relationship they are in and punish their spouse for the sins of their exes. This is not how to keep a relationship strong as this will bring strain between the two of you.
You should remember that your partner is not your ex and will never be. So do not compare. Do not rush to conclusions because your partner did something that might be similar to what your ex did. It will cause insecurities and a lack of trust to come into the relationship. This will make the relationship go along rocky terrains.
Take my younger sister, Joan, for instance. Her ex cherished the gaming table and other women than her. When she finally had enough of him, I came to her home with a bottle of Merlot wine to celebrate. But the problem came when she unknowingly brought the shadow of her ex into her present relationship.
Her husband is a medical doctor and usually keeps late hours. But Joan would worry and nag that he was doing silly things outside their home.
It was creating a rift in her relationship until I sat her down and told her frankly that unless she stopped thinking that her husband is like her ex and began to trust him, she was going to have divorce papers in her mind.
It might not be easy, especially for those whose past relationships were abusive but you have to put in the effort to accept that if you say you love someone, you should trust that person, too, regardless of your past experiences. That’s how to keep a relationship strong.
7. Be Spontaneous And Light-Hearted
Someone once said that variety is the spice of life. Of course, it’s true. Doing something over and over again in a relationship is no way on how to keep a relationship strong. That’s because boredom will slip into the relationship.
And the relationship will stand the risk of being redundant.
A strong relationship thrives on surprise. An impulsive getaway vacation can refresh the romantic feeling for both of you as you will be exploring something new together.
Also, a change in routine like going to an amusement park or a cinema instead of the restaurant you two frequent will spice things up a bit. Also, humor and playfulness keep a relationship from being stale.
So make inside jokes and laugh at them. Indulge in silly activities. When you make time to go out of your comfort zone and involve in fun-filled adventures, the excitement in the relationship will not go cold.
Be more spontaneous with these fun-filled date ideas and couple bonding activities that are sure to strengthen your bond.
8. Have Goals
Every healthy relationship has a direction in which it is going. Even though sometimes it seems that the relationship is shaky, if the relationship is with a purpose and has certain things put in place, it seems more likely than not that it would get back on track.
For a relationship to last strong, you too should be on the same page and place relationship goals that pertain to things that matter to you.
It could be on things like marriage, the number of kids to have, how to spend time together, spending of income and more.
Achieving this requires work and commitment so you have to be there for each other to support each other as you achieve these short term and long term goals.
9. Fight Fair
The way on how to keep a relationship strong is to accept your differences. There is no perfect man or woman anywhere except in the movies, so avoid having unrealistic expectations.
When conflicts arise, you too should be specific on what you are fighting about and know that at the end of the fight, a compromise has to be reached.
Talk about the issue only when you have calmed down, to avoid yelling and other negative emotion-related actions.
Avoid bringing other past issues into the issue at hand, otherwise, the fight might become compounded.
It’s better to communicate your hurt feelings than to be full of resentment and give your partner the silent treatment. That’s how to keep a relationship forever. You can learn more about fighting fair here.
You know, most people think that relationships do not need work. They think that if they love each other, then everything will sail smoothly. That they will know and understand each other automatically because of the magic of love.
They see a happy couple in a blissful relationship and they are like “Aww. This couple is made for each other. So perfect for each other.” They wonder if getting a perfect person is how to make a relationship last forever.
This, my friend, is just a fairy tale. And if you want to get it, then read a harlequin book or buy a Disney movie. You will get enough doses of a dreamy relationship. But in real life, there is no healthy relationship that doesn’t require effort and time.
So these nine simple but mighty things to do in a relationship will help you on how to make your relationship strong and last longer if you are ready to work hard for it.
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