Every relationship is unique and people come together for many different reasons. When we enter a relationship we often expect how we connect to remain the same. Even though every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bump and keep their love going by looking for ways to connect with your spouse.
For most people, falling in love usually seem to just happen. It is the staying in love or preserving that ‘fall in love” experience that matters.
How to reconnect with your partner and how to rekindle the fires of romance from time to time and cultivate the mature trusting love is the hallmark of a lasting relationship.
The positive news is that it doesn’t actually take that much to get that spark bubbling with closeness. But it does take intentionality and commitment!
Close relationships more than money and fame, are what keeps people happy throughout their lives. Here are some ways to connect with your spouse to build your dream relationship.
1. Ways To Connect With Your Spouse – Communicate
You might be wondering “how to get my husband to emotionally connect with me?” Well, this is our first step in the ways to connect with your spouse.
Communication is the cornerstone of any and every lasting and loving relationship. It is the mortar that holds a relationship together. If it breaks down the relationship crumbles.
Good communication is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. You feel safe and happy when you experience a positive emotional connection with your partner.
Boredom, frustrations, and everyday irritations can douse the spark between you and your partner and more of the same, certainly won’t feed the flame.
Research shows that good communication skills keep partners together and thriving. Communication helps to make lovers feel connected.
You talk about sweet memories and moments together, your dreams, ambitions, and plans for the future. When you discuss, you also talk about the positive sides your partner has contributed to your life and entirety.
Appreciate his or her effort in making you a better person, be intentional. Positive feelings such as appreciation, affection, admiration, approval, and warmth expressed to your spouse are like making deposits into your love account.
True communication involves respect for the other person as well as active energy on your part. These two skills are essential ingredients in connecting you and making the relationship work. Respect for your partner indicates your value for him or her.
We often immediately reject another’s perceptions, especially when our views differ. Respect allows you to accept another person’s point of view whole-heartedly. Consider and value your spouse’s perspectives or suggestions.
Talk, especially when away. Talk whether it is via calls, texting, or videos, whatever it is that you both desire and choose, the most important thing is that you always “TALK”.
Sharing of experience via pictures and videos will make it almost feel like they’re there when you take every step. Good communication also requires an active effort. Draw yourself and the other person completely into the communication process.
To work towards this full involvement you should, make a commitment to seeing the process through, express your thoughts and feelings fully, and encourage your partner to do the same.
Resolve misunderstanding by asking questions and seeking clarifications rather than by getting angry. A lack of resolving conflict can easily lead to distance and loneliness in a relationship.
Avoiding conflict may seem to help in the short run, however, if left unresolved, can lead to the distancing cycle that is a breeding ground for affairs.
Learn ways to communicate calmly and respectfully about differences, tell your partner what you need don’t make them assume. Take note of your partner’s non-verbal cues. Don’t sweep conflict under the rug.
In communication, listening skill is important. Listening more than you speak keeps you in a position of understanding the other person. When you do this your partner is also likely to learn and do the same.
When people stop communicating well, they stop relating well and times of change or stress can bring out the disconnection. So, if you’re thinking of ways to connect with your spouse, communicating better might be the best way to start.
2. Spend Time Together
Thinking of how to reconnect with your spouse emotionally? Spend time together!
Most people refuse to accept that the lesser the quality time you spend with your partner the more susceptible your relationship is to a crash. So, mathematically, time is directly proportional to building a better relationship.
No matter how busy you are, it’s important to carve out time to spend together. Take a few minutes each day to put aside your electronic devices, stop thinking about other things, and really focus on and connect with your partner.
Just spending time together is not good enough, utilizing that time the best way you can is important. Talk a lot and play together. Develop a ritual that involves sharing your day with your partner. By ritual, we don’t mean the type that witches and vampires have.
We mean things that soon become embedded into your daily lives, things that you can’t go a day or week without doing and by all means things that should be done together, like; brushing together, bathing together, praying together, and so on.
You can check out Couples Morning Routine To Do Before 8 AM for more of such daily rituals you can have with your spouse.
Spoon a few minutes before getting out of bed in the morning. Have breakfast together, even if the children are rushing around with you.
Find some way to spend time every night processing your day. This should be a time that you devote to each other and it should last for a couple of hours, not hurried to fit in between events. Use this time to talk about positive or stressful events.
Share highs and lows with each other. Share confidence and secrets too. Plan a regular date. Dates don’t have to be fancy, but they do need to be a time that is devoted to relaxation or fun and just the two of you.
3. Friendship Is Important
Friendship is the secret to a longlasting romantic relationship. ~ Priti
Friends affect your life in more ways than you probably realize. It is important to note friendship as one of the ways to connect with your spouse. Friendship is the emotion or conduct of friends; the state of being friends. It is a state of mutual trust and support between people.
A friend is someone who understands where you’ve been, believes in where you are going, and loves you for who you are.
A friend is a shoulder to cry on, an entertainer who can make you laugh, a secret keeper, the one who loves you the most.
Friendship is the rainbow between two hearts sharing seven colors: feelings, love, sadness, happiness, truth, faith, secrets, and respect. Valuing the friendship component of your romantic relationship is very important. Being friends does more for the long-term survival of a couple than anything else.
Building and nurturing the romantic friendship can strengthen a relationship because friendship in relationships is known to build emotional and physical intimacy. It helps the couple to feel safe enough to be more open with one another without worrying about being judged or feeling insecure.
Friendship means you enjoy spending time together, talking together, having similar interests, supporting each other, laughing, and playing with each other. Having fun and being playful is something all friendships have in common.
Having fun can be simple as laughing at each other’s jokes or leaving each other silly notes. You should enjoy each other’s presence, whether that is watching a movie, reading a book, daily walking, acting all childish in the snow, cooking meals, or even exercising.
It can look different for every couple but there should be something that you both can have fun doing together as friends do.
Being friends with your spouse is a gift and it directly benefits you both. With an increasing bond in friendship, you maintain a meaningful physical and emotional connection with each other daily.
So, being friends with your spouse foremost is definitely one of the ways to connect with your spouse and build that dream relationship of yours.
4. Touch Each Other
“Touch is a very primal, visceral way to feel connected to someone”, said Ashley Davis Bush. It reminds us of our most basic needs as infants.
The same need for meaningful touching we see with our children is equally important in a relationship. Touch is the first sense to develop, and the primary means of providing love to a baby.
Romantic touch is a powerful way to communicate with your spouse and it will strengthen your relationship. Some of the positive feelings that come with touching are stronger connection, improved attitude, and it will produce a smile for both you and your spouse.
Touching is one of the hot ways to spice up marriages – it can make you feel safe, cared for, and create a lasting bond.
To touch someone you love is to acknowledge their presence and to communicate your desire for them. That’s why the most successful couples amongst us do it so often.
Your touch can also mean that you celebrate your partner’s existence as a sensual being. Everything else can be going right, including the expression of gratitude but if there is no affection among partners then there is bound to be trouble.
In effect, the relationship is drifting towards a platonic status. People touch each other in many different ways, kissing, holding hands, cuddling, tickling, etc, there is no single form of touching that wins the day.
Touching can be as simple as a hug, or a gentle rub on the back, but to stay connected romantically and emotionally a couple needs to stay connected physically- by literally connecting.
Touching fuels your bond. If you want to feel emotionally close to your partner, look for opportunities to be physically close to him or her, so close that you can easily make contact. Touch is one important way out of the other ways to connect with your spouse and it also is one of the Ways To Make Your Man Feel Special And Loved.
5. Pick Interest In Your Partner’s Interest
It’s important to know what your partner loves to do and join them. It doesn’t matter how weird or crazy it may be.
Explore the interests of your spouse, be it their hobby, exercise, or books they are reading. Find out what they are passionate about and join them. This often takes a bit of sacrifice.
Open yourself up to the opportunity of doing things you may not otherwise do on your own, for the sake of your relationship. For instance, even if you hate soccer, watch a game with them, feel his or her joy, and go with it.
“Connecting through empathy and a genuine interest with one’s partner’s passion helps develop greater intimacy and commitment”, said Douglas Stephens, co-author of the Couples’ Survival Workbook.
A man once said he felt a lot of connection when his wife made it a must to watch the NBA all-star weekend with him. She also decided to attend a music concert with him. These were things they didn’t do together when they first began.
He reciprocated the energy by accompanying her to the saloon whenever she wanted to change her hair. These things seemed small when they started but it became one of the strong pillars that changed how they saw themselves as a couple over time.
What you will find is that, through your willingness to do so, these activities actually become “Enjoyable”. The goal is not to force yourself to like hunting if you don’t enjoy hunting, but to look for moments to enjoy with your partner.
6. Let Go Of Past Hurt
Letting go of past hurt is one of the good ways to connect with your spouse. Ever wondered why you never really accomplished as much as you should in your relationship? Your guess is as good as mine. You’re hoarding bad memories and experiences.
Sometimes, our past struggles can weigh heavily on our shoulders, holding us back and preventing us from living in the moment, and being who we really want to be. You should always remember that you are both humans and have a tendency to make mistakes, you shouldn’t show him/her the door immediately but you should be ready to forgive.
Holding on to past hurt can hold you back in so many ways, from self-destructing behaviors to anxiety, fear, or anger and it is one of the Bad Habits That Ruin The Strongest Marriages. Couples should always focus on the present when discussing issues. Mentioning the past events may negatively affect the present.
Each one of you might have messed up on one or two occasions, and so if you remind your partner, it can bring frustration and break the bond. For example, a woman who has a feminine core. If her partner does something that causes her pain, she may tend to bring it up over and over again throughout the relationship.
Her partner feels like it’s impossible to win because no matter how much he does to amend the situation, she continues to punish him for his previous transgressions.
Letting go means, forgetting about those ugly experiences, ridding your memory of every past disappointment, letting in happiness, and is the key to your healing, growth, and development.
Letting go of past hurts is a sure way among other ways to connect with your spouse. But holding grudges or keeping tabs of your partner’s wrongs or rights is a Silent Relationship Killer You Won’t Even Take Notice Of until it’s too late. So, let go today!
7. Relive A Memory
Getting older sometimes means losing the excitement that comes with doing things for the first time. The power of the mind is strong.
Reliving a positive memory is a great way to practice mindfulness. If you relive something that has happened to you in the past, you remember it and imagine that you are experiencing it again.
Remembering good days can revive your relationship – it is a sure way on how to connect with an emotionally absent spouse.
When two people feel disconnected, it’s important to remember what brought them together in the first place. Now and again, share a memory from your courtship or an especially loving time.
Relive a funny story, a touching moment or look through some old photos or videos, play music from that era or even from the event itself such as the music you danced to at your wedding.
Think about the honeymoon phase of your relationship, take a page from the happy couple’s playbook, and use laughter and pride in your joint coping ability when recalling things that didn’t go as planned.
Recall the qualities you saw in your partner when you met. Focus on the positive qualities of your partner. These qualities are probably still there, hidden behind the barriers.
Memories of the way you were can stimulate better couple communication, and positive memories can help you feel better about yourself and your spouse.
Do well to relive a good memory today with your spouse because it certainly is among the best ways to connect with your spouse.
8. Perform Small Sweet Acts Of Kindness
This is another key point to note in the ways to connect with your spouse. Kindness has a sort of power that can that warms the heart and makes us feel alive. It gives us a sense of perspective and purpose that are completely unmatched by anything else.
Relationships don’t work on autopilot. They require nourishment like a plant or pet. So, it’s important to give your relationships that kind of attention.
People in successful relationships treat each other with love and kindness, expressed through kind thoughts, loving words, and kind actions. Small gestures that say “I’m thinking about you” are essential to keep the relationship bond strong.
Gestures like writing love notes or sending special e-mail messages, offering your help or helping each other with a project, preparing a favorite breakfast, or buying a favorite snack for your partner when you fill up your car with gas goes a long way in warming the heart of your partner. (P.S: It’s one of my secrets on how to reconnect with your partner after a fight)!
Think of the smile on your spouse’s face when you post a loving sticky note onto the car dashboard or write “I LOVE YOU, HONEY!” via the steam on the bathroom mirror, you both liked the feeling right? Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about!
Little acts of kindness help you feel less alone, it’s a balm against depression. It can lift your spirit. Accumulation of small gestures has a bigger impact on a couple’s happiness than grand, less frequent gestures.
So, don’t wait for that anniversary date before you shower your spouse with affection; that small sweet act of kindness might just be the best out of other ways to connect with your spouse.
9. Accept Your Partner’s Uniqueness
We have all had moments when we wished our partner was fatter, thinner, wealthier, more romantic, or someone who is this…, that…., blah blah blah.
Take a look at your expectations and ask yourself how realistic are they. Unrealistic expectations lead to chronic frustration, which may be the reason your relationship fails.
One of the ways to connect with your spouse for a healthy and successful relationship is genuinely accepting your partner for who they are.
However, most couples fail to recognize this fact because they are either too busy looking for perfection or too occupied focusing on their partner’s flaws.
Everyone is unique but no one is perfect. Our flaws are actually what makes us human with unique characteristics. Let’s face it, if everyone was perfect, then the world would be an ugly place full of boredom and sheer monotony.
Accepting someone is the ability to see that they have a right to be their own unique persons. That means having a right to their feelings, thoughts, and opinion. Stop comparing your spouse with others!
Never compare them with people from your past, treat them as an actual human being capable of love and care, don’t be quick to judge. By doing that you are wasting energy and time. It will also eventually damage the self-esteem and the happiness that you both share. It is a recipe for misery.
Respect their beliefs and acknowledge their opinions, accept their imperfections and embrace their flaws, don’t force them to change but guide them to be better, love them for who they are on the inside, look for the positive.
Instead of focusing on why he/she is different, focus on what’s good about that person and his/her choices and actions. Your way is not always the best one.
Finally, we’ve come to the end of the road for today’s post. Never forget that practice makes perfect and I hope you put into action what you learned about the ways to connect with your spouse and better build your dream relationship.
If you are still on the search for building your dream relationship, then these 15 Awesome Ways To Spice Up Marriage and Ultimate Cheap Date Ideas To Rejuvenate Your Relationship might just be what you are looking for.
I’ll be waiting to hear more from you in the comment section below. You can tell me about all other ways you connected with your spouse when your relationship was in the dump or in trying times.
I’d like to hear from you and I’m ever ready to respond! Sending you Love and light from me to you all! Ciao!!!
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