We all know the excitement of a first date — the butterflies, the hopes, and the possibility of meeting someone amazing. But let me tell you, not every date is a dream come true. Sometimes, you’ll encounter first-date red flags that, if ignored, can lead to disappointment and frustration.
The truth is, first dates are the perfect opportunity to spot signs that someone may not be right for you. Trust me, it’s better to notice these signs early on, so you don’t waste your time on someone who isn’t a good match. These red flags aren’t just little quirks—they’re major signals that could help you avoid a relationship that’s going nowhere.
In this blog post, we’re diving into what to watch out for on a first date so you can avoid wasting your time with the wrong person. Keep reading, because the red flags you spot now might just save you from future heartbreak.
14 Huge Red Flags You Should Always Watch Out For On A First Date
Wondering how to tell if a guy is genuinely interested or just wasting your time? Let’s dive into some major red flags you need to watch for on a first date. Trust me, these signs aren’t minor issues; they’re clear indicators that he might not be the right guy for you. And as tempting as it might be to overlook them in the name of love, it’s better to notice them early.
1. They Show Up Late Without A Good Reason
There’s nothing more frustrating than waiting for someone who doesn’t respect your time. If he’s late without a good reason, that’s a red flag.
Sure, life happens—traffic, running late from work—but if he strolls in with no real explanation, it tells you a lot about his priorities. How does he expect you to feel valued when he can’t even plan to show up on time?
And don’t let him charm his way out of it. If a guy is genuinely interested in you, he’ll show up early or at least apologize sincerely. First date red flags like this aren’t just about time; they’re about respect.
A man who’s worth your time will always make sure you feel important from the moment you meet.
2. They Spend The Entire Time On Their Phone
Nobody wants to feel like a second choice. If your date can’t keep his eyes off his phone, it’s a glaring red flag.
We all know phones are add#ctive, but on a date, your attention should be on each other. If he’s checking his notifications every two minutes or responding to texts, it tells you that you’re not his priority. Pay attention to this one—it’s not just annoying; it’s disrespectful. How can you have a meaningful conversation if he’s distracted by his phone?
A guy who really cares will put his phone down and give you his undivided attention. Part of the things a man will do only if he truly loves you are rooted in his actions, and his willingness to engage without distractions is one of them. If he’s constantly on his phone, you’re not his priority—and that’s a big problem.
3. They’re Rude To Waiters Or Staff
The way someone treats others says a lot about their character. If your date is rude to the waiter or any staff member, pay attention. It’s not just a sign of bad manners—it can be an indicator of how he’ll treat you when the honeymoon phase is over.
A guy who is impatient, dismissive, or disrespectful to staff probably won’t be much different with you when the relationship faces challenges.
A good man will treat others with kindness and respect, regardless of their role or status. If he’s making snide comments or acting entitled, don’t ignore it. It might not seem like a huge deal now, but trust me, that behavior will show up in your relationship eventually. Recognizing these red flags on a first date can save you from heartbreak later.
4. They Avoid Answering Basic Questions About Themselves
A first date is your chance to get to know each other. If he’s avoiding questions about his life—his work, his family, his interests—that’s a clear red flag. A guy who’s not open and transparent from the beginning may not be ready for a real connection.
Everyone has things they’re not prepared to share, but if he’s dodging even basic questions, it might be a sign that he’s hiding something—or just doesn’t care enough to be open with you.
Don’t ignore this one! First date red flags like this should raise your concerns. If he can’t answer simple questions, what’s he going to do when you want to discuss something important down the road? You deserve a guy who’s comfortable sharing details about himself. If he’s not willing to be open from the start, it’s a major sign to move on.
5. They Bring Up Their Ex Too Much
Listen, we all have a past, but if your date can’t stop bringing up past relationships, it’s time to ask yourself why. This could indicate they haven’t really moved on and may still be emotionally unavailable.
When someone keeps talking about their ex, it can feel like you’re being compared, or like they’re not interested in getting to know you.
I remember going out on a date with a guy, and he literally compared every dish we ordered to something his ex used to make. Girl, I almost choked on my wine! It’s a first date, not a therapy session. You deserve someone who’s present and ready to focus on you. If he’s living in the past, it’s time to wave goodbye.
How do you know if he’s not that into you? Pay attention to how much space the ex takes up in the conversation. You’re there to talk about you two, not his unresolved past.
6. They Make Inappropriate Jokes Or Comments
A good sense of humor is a must, but if his jokes are offensive, s#xist, or inappropriate, it’s a huge turn-off. Humor should be lighthearted and fun, not make you feel uncomfortable.
I once went on a date with a guy who made a joke about women belonging to the kitchen. Needless to say, I didn’t wait to finish my meal and I exit the room!
Pay attention to his jokes because they can reveal a lot about his values. If they make offhand remarks about race, gender, or anything that doesn’t sit right with you, don’t brush it off. It’s not a minor slip-up—it reveals a lot about who they are.
7. They Talk Only About Themselves And Never Ask About You
A healthy relationship is a two-way street, but if your date only focuses on their own achievements, hobbies, and stories, it could mean they’re not interested in truly getting to know you. It’s as if you’re just a spectator in their life, and that’s not how a meaningful connection is built.
I once had a date where the guy talked endlessly about his job, his travels, and his “amazing life,” but never once asked me a single question about myself. It felt like a job interview where I was the one interviewing him, and honestly, it was exhausting. First-date red flags like this are clear: if they never show interest in you, it’s a sign they’re only focused on their own needs.
When someone is interested in you, they’ll ask questions. They’ll want to know about your dreams, fears, and experiences. These are clear signs that he likes you. If that’s not happening, it’s a red flag.
A healthy relationship starts with mutual curiosity and respect, and if you don’t feel valued from the start, it’s a sign to keep looking.
8. They Make Negative Or Judgmental Comments About Others
Ever had a date where they just seem to find something wrong with everyone? From their family members to the waiter at the restaurant, it’s like they’ve got a judgmental lens on everything around them.
This type of behavior can signal a negative or bitter attitude, which is something you want to avoid. If they’re so quick to judge others, it’s only a matter of time before they turn that same judgment on you.
I’ve been on dates where the guy couldn’t stop complaining about his coworkers or making fun of his friends. It made me realize – if he’s trash-talking everyone in his life, how long until he does the same to me?
So, when you spot this first date red flag, take it seriously. Watch how they talk about others because how they treat people who can’t offer them anything speaks volumes about how they might treat you down the line.
9. They Talk About Money Too Much, Especially In A Bragging Way
Okay, I get it. We all like to talk about our achievements, but when someone spends the entire date boasting about their wealth or fancy lifestyle, it’s a major red flag.
Sure, it’s fine to mention what you do for a living or your passions, but if they’re bragging about expensive cars, vacations, or how much money they make, something’s off. It’s a clear sign they might be more into showing off than getting to know the real you.
10. They Try To Talk You Into Things You Don’t Want To Do
It’s a special outing, and you should feel comfortable being yourself. If they’re pushing you to go to a bar you’re not interested in, or worse, trying to get you to do something you’re not ready for, that’s a red flag.
You know that feeling when you clearly say, “I’m not into that,” but they keep pushing? It’s so frustrating. A partner should respect your boundaries, not make you feel guilty or pressured into doing something you’re uncomfortable with.
Imagine they suggest activities you’re not interested in, but instead of respecting your choice, they keep insisting with promises or flattery. That’s control, not care. Keep an eye out for this, as it’s often a precursor to bigger issues down the line, like bad habits that can destroy your relationship.
11. They Make Fun Of You Or Put You Down To Make Themselves Feel Better
No one should make fun of you, especially on a first date. If they mock your interests, your appearance, or anything that makes you, you, that’s not cute, it’s cruel. It’s one of the biggest first date red flags you shouldn’t ignore, and it’s a massive sign of insecurity on their part.
But here’s the thing—people who put others down to make themselves feel better tend to have deeper issues they’re not ready to confront. And it’ll come out in your relationship. No one deserves to be treated like this, especially not by someone who’s supposed to be impressing you.
Remember, things every woman should do before marriage include knowing your worth, and no one who disrespects you is worth your time.
12. They Bring Up Controversial Or Uncomfortable Topics Right Away
On a first date, you’re still getting to know each other. It’s not the time to dive into heavy political discussions or talk about your ex. If someone is eager to bring up sensitive topics too soon, it can signal emotional baggage or a lack of social awareness.
It’s one thing to discuss values or life goals, but if they start ranting about controversial issues or offering unsolicited opinions on religion, politics, or family drama, it’s a sign they might not be emotionally ready for a relationship.
Healthy conversations progress at a comfortable pace, and a good partner will know when to avoid touchy subjects early on.
13. They Talk About Marriage Or Kids Too Early
Now, don’t get me wrong—if you’re both in a serious place, these topics can come up. But if they’re already talking about wedding plans or which names they like for kids, something feels off.
This can be a sign of someone rushing things, projecting their ideal future onto you, or looking for validation. They may even mention marriage as if it’s a requirement. This is one of the most important first date red flags you shouldn’t ignore. It could be a sign of desperation, not a true connection.
14. They Don’t Make Eye Contact Or Seem Distracted
This is an obvious one, but you’d be surprised how often it gets overlooked. If they can’t look you in the eyes or seem more interested in their phone, it’s hard to build a genuine connection.
Eye contact is a basic human connection, and when it’s absent, it can feel like they’re not genuinely interested in you. This eye contact goes beyond the first date, it’s part of the intimate habits of couples who are deeply connected.
When someone is constantly distracted or refuses to engage in the conversation, it shows a lack of respect and interest.
If they seem more invested in their surroundings than in you, that’s a red flag you shouldn’t ignore.
First dates are about building rapport, and if they’re not even making the effort to connect, why would you want to invest further?
Final Note On First Date Red Flags
First dates have a lot of fun, but they’re also a chance to learn about each other and make sure your values align.
Pay attention to the red flags to watch out for on a first date—they’re not always obvious at first, but they can save you from a lot of heartache. You deserve a relationship where you feel seen, respected, and truly valued.
Keep an eye out for these signs and don’t be afraid to walk away if things don’t feel right. Your perfect match is out there.
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